I’m speaking from personal experience when I say that the first year with twins can be a total blackout, pure survival mode and really flip your world upside down.
But with proper planning and some helpful tips, you can make it a little easier. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate this exciting and demanding time as a twin mom:
1. Create a Routine: Create a daily schedule that includes feeding, sleeping, and playtime for both babies. Start napping them at the same time from day one. Place each baby in a dark room with a white noise sound machine. Keep the room cool, not too hot. A humidifier is great for cold, dry climates. Put blackout curtains on the windows. Amazon sells an awesome affordable set of portable blackout shades that stick with suction cups that I highly recommend!! Having a predictable routine will help you manage your time more effectively and allow you to plan other activities accordingly.
2. Accept Help: Don't be afraid to ask for assistance from family members, friends, or hired help. Having an extra pair of hands can (and will) make a significant difference in managing the demands of two babies. Delegate tasks whenever possible to lighten your load. DO NOT feel the need to be polite and pressured to decline when someone offers help. TAKE THE HELP. Any and all of it! Whether it’s for an hour or a few days. Some of the things you can ask for help with include washing bottles, doing laundry, cooking a meal, feeding one baby, letting you take a nap, joining you to a doctor’s appointment, grocery shopping and more. Every little bit of help is invaluable!
3. Join a Support Group: Seek out local or online support groups for parents of twins. For example, our private twin mom group on Facebook, Twinsanity Life! Connecting with other parents who are going through or have gone through similar experiences can provide you with invaluable advice, tips, and emotional support.
4. Prepare in Advance: Stock up on essentials such as diapers, formula (if not breastfeeding), and other baby supplies. Being prepared will save you from frequent trips to the store, especially during the early weeks when you'll be adjusting to the demands of having two infants. If using formula, you can make a 24 hour batch in advance as long as it’s refrigerated! But PLEASE count your scoops out loud. I wasted one too many scoops of expensive formula due to messing up counts and sheer exhaustion.
5. Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is crucial during this time. Remember to eat well, stay hydrated, and get enough rest whenever possible. Consider taking short breaks throughout the day to do something you enjoy, even if it's just a few minutes of quiet time.
6. Stock Up on Food: Fill your refrigerator and pantry with quick, easy and nutritious snacks to help you get through the day. Food you can grab and go, such as granola bars, almonds, cheese sticks, yogurts, carrot sticks with hummus, cereal, apples, clementines, protein shakes, PBJ, etc. You will need to keep your calorie intake up if breastfeeding and you will need your energy. With not much time to eat, quick snacks are the way to go.
7. Simplify your Life: Focus on minimizing unnecessary tasks and commitments. It is also essential that you stay well hydrated. Buy a big jug to fill with water and take it around the house with you. Simplify your routines, household chores, and meal preparations to free up more time for yourself and your babies. Accept that some things may need to be put on hold temporarily.
8. Create a Baby Station: Set up a central area in your home where you can attend to both babies simultaneously. This station should have all the essentials within reach, such as diapers, wipes, burp cloths, and extra clothes. This way, you won't need to constantly move between different areas of your home. We purchased a pre-loved changing table off Facebook Marketplace and used it daily in our living room.
9. Use Technology to your Advantage: Take advantage of apps, timers, and gadgets that can simplify your life. Use timers to keep track of feeding schedules, sleep routines, or medication reminders. Utilize baby monitors to keep an eye on both babies while they sleep.
10. Find Ways to Bond with each Baby: While it's essential to address the needs of both babies, finding time for individual bonding is also important. Create moments where you can focus on each baby individually, such as during bath time, story time, or simply cuddling.
11. Celebrate Milestones: The first year with twins is full of milestones and achievements. Celebrate and cherish each of these moments, from their first smiles to their first steps. These special moments will help you appreciate the joy and beauty of having twins. Since much of the first year can be a blur, I encourage every new twin parent to take lots of pictures and videos. They really are wonderful to look back on.
12. Invest in Products: If it’s within your budget, I highly recommend the Table for Two twin feeding system. This double seat was a lifesaver when feeding our twins at the same time. You can save 10% off your purchase at checkout with code TWINSANITY10. If the Table for Two is not an option, many twin parents like using the Twin Z pillow to prop up both babies next to each other for feedings.
13. Stroller Time: Get yourself a snap and go stroller, such as the Baby Trend Snap-N-Go double stroller. You can snap your infant car seats directly into this simple lightweight stroller without waking the babies. The other stroller I recommend, which will grow with your twins for at least 5years, is the Zoe Twin+. It’s everything you’ll need in a double stroller and weighs less than 20 lbs.
14. Pay Attention to your Mental Health: Postpartum Depression (PPD) is real, and moms of multiples are at even higher risk. If you have feelings of sadness, suicidal thoughts, attachment issues, anxiety or an overwhelming sense of depression, do not hesitate to discuss with your doctor as soon as possible. PPD is nothing to be ashamed of and is very common. Address the issue right away and do not let it spiral out of control. I can assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise! Read more about my own personal story of struggling with PPD and having twins here.
15. Be a Team: Lastly, having twins can take a toll on your relationship with your significant other during the first year. My advice is to try and remain calm, be mutually respectful and give each other some grace. Do not make any drastic or life changing marital decisions during this time. Usually, the situation improves once everyone gets more sleep and into a better routine. Remember, you are both going through a major life change and being a team will help you make it through the long days and nights!
You've Got This!
Use these twin mom tips to suit your specific situation. Stay flexible, be patient with yourself and seek support whenever you need it. Good luck and enjoy the journey of raising your twins!
This blog post was written by Jacqueline Emmons, twin mom and founder of Twinsanity Life, LLC: A twin mom support community.
Check out her blog at www.twinsanitylife.com
Follow on Instagram @twinsanity_life, www.instagram.com/twinsanity_life
Join the private Twinsanity Life twin mom support group on Facebook at www.facebook.com/groups/twinsanitylife